Downsizing Jokes

IMMEDIATE DOWNSIZING MEASURES EMPLOYED The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring
decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining is due to the North Pole`s loss of dominance of this season`s gift distribution business. Home shopping channels, the Internet, and mail order catalogs have diminished Santa`s market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture. The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO`s annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer--who will retrain at the Harvard Business
School--is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press. I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph`s role will not be disturbed. more...

Schedules emergency visit to urologist after overhearing office gossip regarding "Peter principle" and "downsizing."

Answers every question with "yes," "no," or "reply hazy, try again later."

Finally traded in the company fleet of Ford Pintos -- for Ford Explorers.

You've just received permission to leave for your 4th fact- finding trip to learn about "Tolkien Ring Networks" this week.

Thinks that by monitoring your e-mail he... is the best loved, nicest and by far the most brilliant boss to work for.

Believes that Britney really *is* a virgin.

You send him a memo saying that for Halloween, you're coming as The Invisible Man -- then you don't come in at all. The next day, he promotes you for your ingenuity.

He's attempting to sleep his way to the top, starting with the CEO's wife.

You receive yet *another* fruit basket after calling in the more...

~ Downsizing is good, right? Then let's fire Uncle Sam!
~ Put politicians in their place - Landfills!
~ We will never have great leaders as long as we mistake
education for intelligence, ambition for ability, and
a winning smile for integrity!
~ Only lawyers get to be judges, and that's the (F)LAW!

The usual large flamboyant typeface associated with the season's greetings had been downsized this year commensurate with the trend toward corporate downsizing. [And the fact that SMTP does not support typeface control].
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should more...

Season's Greetings,
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavourable more...