Tech Jokes / Recent Jokes
An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I
am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade
show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any
trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has "4X" on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't
stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive
as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
Customer: "I'm running Windows' 95." Tech: "Yes." Customer: "My computer isn't working now." Tech: "Yes, you said that."
You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When... A friend calls and says, "How are you? Your phones have been busy for a year!" You forgot how to work the TV remote control. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL." You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car. Tech support calls YOU for help. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out." You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep. You talk on the phone with the same person you are more...
COMPUTER BLUES
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close more...
Sighting #1:
I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, "sure." The next thing I hear is, "Hey, where do you put the coffee?" I turn to see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is (unsuccessfully) trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both covered with water.
Sighting #2:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #3:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when he asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it more...
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5. 0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7. 5, CruiseShip 2. 3, and OperaNight 6. 1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1. 3, SaturdayFootball 5. 0, Golf 2. 4 and ClutterEverywhere 4. 5. Conversation 8. 0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14. 1 or HouseCleaning 2. 6.
I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix Husband 1. 0, but this is all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!
Dear Jane:
This is a very common problem women more...