Teller Jokes / Recent Jokes
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."
So saying, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"
"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damnit. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank." The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to foul language.
They both return to the window and the manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank, okay?"
"I see," says the manager, "is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went
to the currency exchange window at the local bank
Short line. Just one guy in front of me...an Asian guy who was trying
to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little irritated.
He asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yestoday, I get two hunat dolla
for yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white people too!"
An Asian gentleman walks into an American bank needing to exchange currency. Handing over 55 yen, he is told by the teller that the equivalancy in american dollars will be $96.00. completing his transaction, he smilingly leaves the bank. One week later he returns to again, exchange some cash. Giving the teller 55 yen, he is told that the equivalancy will be $91.00. "What you talk about!", he exclaims. "Last week I come in, 55 yen is $96.00 dollar and today it only $91.00, you trying to cheat me?". "No sir", the teller tried to explain, "..fluctuations..".
A man walks into a Pharmacy and says to the beautiful female teller, "Umm... err, I've never purchased condoms before, and I don't know what size to buy."
"That's okay. You can test your size on the fence out in back."
So the man walks out back and he sees three holes. Just as he prepares to stick his penis in the first hole, the beautiful teller sneaks over to the other side of the fence. The man sticks his penis through the first hole where it is gently caressed by the teller. Then he pulls it it out and sticks it through the second hole where the teller begins to suck his penis and give him a blow job. Then, finally, he pulls it out and sticks it in the third hole. The teller takes her vagina, wraps it around his penis, and begins to hump it. She quickly pulls up her pants and scurries back inside where the man is begining to stumble back in.
She starts to giggle and says, "Have you decided on the appropriate size?"
"Screw the more...
Adolph Hitler was having terrible nightmares, and so he decided to go to a fortune teller hoping that the woman could find the source of his problem. “I am sorry but I am unable to help you solve your dreams, ” said the fortune teller, “but I do know that you will die on a Jewish holiday. ” “And which holiday will this be? ” he asked. “It does not matter, ” she replied. “Any day that you die will be a Jewish holiday. ”
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9: A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer. When she had forked over $7, 000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.