Testing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.
No further testing is planned.
Nobody can deny that the goal of software development is to produce the highest quality product possible. The only way to ensure that quality is through extensive testing.Therefore, the following testing programs will be implemented as additions to the regularly scheduled regression testing:Aggression Testing: Punching all developers with an open bug.Confession Testing: All developers must admit what they either cannot do or have blown off.Digression Testing: Developers and analysts must change the subject and ramble when the topic of bugs comes up.Repression Testing: All developers must tell everyone who they secretly want to kill.Oppression Testing: All developers will be required to work 24 hours a day until all bugs are fixed.Depression Testing: All developers must explain which bugs make them sad, and why.Succession Testing: Developers must be able to name the chain of command in the event that a PM dies.Hessian Testing: QA will be redone by German mercenaries.Joe Pescian more...
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.
The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing.
They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.
The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing.They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."
Programmer at this retail chain gets an assignment to add some functionality to four reporting applications. One change request is to add passwords to one of the four applications -- but just one."Just doing one sounded suspicious to me," says the programmer. "So I decided to code the password logic in a separate module for easy reuse. I only had to add one line of code to the existing executable."Fast-forward six months: The new versions are installed in a handful of stores for beta testing before they'll roll out to 1,000 stores nationwide. Programmer's boss drops by his cubicle to tell him that the users like the password function, but they wanted it on all four applications. How long would it take to add it to the other three?He calculates: add one line of code, compile, do some testing. That's maybe a few hours' work if everything goes as planned -- which it seldom does."Two days," he tells his boss.She's skeptical. "Are you sure?" she more...
Yesterday, after extensive testing, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones... yes, it's true. To prove their theory, the scientists had 100 men consume 12 bottles of beer. They then observed that 100% of them: 1: Gained weight. 2: Talked excessively without making sense. 3: Became emotional. 4: Called home just to see if anyone called. 5: Couldn't drive. 6: Went to the bathroom in groups. 7: Rearranged the furniture for no apparent reason. No further testing is planned.