Thanks Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day a man was golfing when he forgot what hole he was on.
So he went up to the women in front of him and said "Miss im sorry to bother you but i seem to have forgotten what hole im on could you help me?"
The lady in reply said "yes im on the 5th hole and your one hole behind me so you must be on the 4th."
The man said thanks and went on playing.
Later it happened again so he went to the lady and asked her what hole he was on and she said" Im on the 12 hole and your one hole behind me so you must be on the 11th.
Again the man said thanks and went on playing.
Later after the man had finished golfing he went to the clubhouse to get a beer when he saw the lady sitting at the bar. He went up joined her and started a conversation.
He asked her what she does and she said "im a saleswoman.
Suprised he said i am too
He asked her what he sold and she said if i told you you would only laugh he said no i wont i swear.
so more...
A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!'' The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?'' Confused, the bartenders says no. ''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''
A Polish guy is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the Polish guy, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the more...
A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients.
The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the donor lawyer's name.
One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, "That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls."
A Polish guy is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women."Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?""Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way." "Wow! Thanks!" says the Polish guy, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies.So he more...
A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients.The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the donor lawyer's name.One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, "That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls."