Theme Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was!
Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of
the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, Pepsi, and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly, asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story: Even when the man is more...

June 1st, was just a few short days away. It is a special day since it is the birthday of Rodney's wife, Cathy. Rodney asked his wife, what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be six again," Cathy replied.

Rodney pondered this for awhile. On the morning of Cathy's birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to Six Flags Magic Mountain, a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park, Colossus, Batman Returns, Viper, Goliath, and all the other roller coaster rides there!

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where Rodney ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie to see Spiderman. Rodney stopped by the concession stand and ordered hot dogs, popcorn, soda pop and candy. What a fabulous adventure! Finally Cathy wobbled home with her more...

- You wonder why singers Sting and Bryan Adams stole wrestlers'names.- You only come out of your room if your theme music is playing.- You go to court dressed like Goldust.- When your boss is pissing you off you kick him and give him a stunner.- You always end a speech with, "That's the bottom line 'cuz John said so!" or "If you smellllll what John is cooking!"- You wonder why DX's theme music never made the Top 100.- You continue to shove a sock down the throat of your brother-in-law.- If there's one beer left you suggest it should be suspended from the ceiling and the winner has to climb a stepladder to get it.- You give everyone high fives when you walk down a hall.- Whenever you see someone lying on the floor you get the urge to put him in the sharpshooter.- You are not from the U.S but you live there and keep insulting every American you see.- You offer someone money to burn the flag.- You think that Diesel and Kevin Nash look alike.

1> For kicks, sticks roman candle in empty eye socket and chases kids around.

2> Insists on humming the "Mission Impossible" theme every time he lights a fuse.

3> He wants to know if he can "borrow" your dog for the finale.

4> Offers 20% discount if Salman Rushdie attends your event.

5> Tied a monkey to a skyrocket "so's I can get me a grant from NASA!"

6> Theme of the fireworks display: "The Jihad Against the Beer Swilling Pigs Begins"

7> He finally shows up on July 6th smelling like a refinery.

8> Big 4th of July show ends with 50-foot tall sparkling message: "Happy Bar Mitzvah, Howie Goldfarb."

9> Asks if he should shoot off Quaker Puffed Rice or Oats when the 1812 Overture begins.

10> The punk he keeps trying to light has orange hair and a nose ring.

11> Wants to synchronize the 4th of July display to Jimmy Buffett's more...

What is Michael Jackson's favorite Theme Park?
Whichever one has the most kids that day.