Theme Jokes / Recent Jokes

It is sad that the World Trade Centre and Pentagon were attacked by terrorist! But come to think of it, we figured out the theme songs for the happenings.

Life is too short to be sulking. So... here goes. ..

George Bush's fav. song..... I Will Survive
Osama Bin Laden's theme song..... It Wasn't Me
Boston Airport Authority's song..... Who Let The Dog's Out
New Yorker's song..... Smoke Get In Your Eyes
Song that was played in the WTC..... Baby One More Time
Guy that jumped off WTC was singing..... I Believe I Can Fly
Pentagon's ex-theme song..... U Can't Touch This
Saddam Hussein....... I Feel Good......

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"She said, "Id love to be ten again."On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning
back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like
to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl
of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He more...

14. “Twice as many rides - all 40% slower!! ”
13. The neighboring “Microsoft Theme Park” keeps trying to connect up its carriages to your cash register.
12. The really good rides you keep hearing about aren’t accessible at all.
11. Your ticket is good for “500 free hours! ” but the fine print reminds you that all free hours must be used today.
10. The sign outside the bigtop tent reads, “We’re sorry, all circus are busy right now. Please come back later. ”
9. Ride attendants keep insisting they’re busty young vixens despite the fact that they’re all over 40, dirty, and male.
8. None of the rides work, but big color pictures make it easy to find your way around.
7. A spiffy new look to the roller coaster since last time you visited, but it’s still just as rusty, squeaky and dangerous.
6. Even though you’ve paid your monthly entrance fee, you can’t get into the park any time except between midnight and six a. more...

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"

She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park.

He put her on every ride in the park--the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.

Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake.

Then off to a theater to see Star Wars--more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets.

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"

One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."

THEME SONGS FOR THE VIAGRA COMMERCIALS
- Written by Eric Targan,
While Pfizer has had a lot of great press reagarding the launch of Viagra, the new male impotency medication, its marketing department has been working vigorously to develop its advertising campaign to augment its sales once all of the PR has died down.
While going through potential commercials, they realized that such an important medication needed a theme song to help its long term identity.
Here are a few of the top suggestions that came up in the meeting.
(Special Thanks to Regina for her help)
I am a Rock
- Paul Simon
Suddenly
- B. Ocean
A Hard Days Night
- The Beatles
Please Mr. Postman
Can't Buy Me Love (Now you can)
- The Beatles
Do That To Me One More Time
- Captain and Tenille
Everlasting Love
- The Bee Gees
Take Me Out To The Ballgame
Let Your Love Flow
- L. E. Williams
A Had Days Night
- The Beatles
Longer
- more...

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"