Thieves Jokes

Coincidentally, President Bush also had his bicycle stolen recently. Police were perplexed because thieves don't usually target bikes with training wheels.

Farmer John was taking his cow and it's newborn calf to sell in the auction. On the way farmer John got robbed by thieves, who beat him up, stripped him of his clothes and tied him to a tree. Then taking the mother cow and John's clothes, the thieves escaped. They, however, left the newborn calf behind.
Poor farmer John suffered as for two days, he stood tied to a tree, stark naked and hungry. Fortunately, on the third day, some neighbors happened to pass by. They recognized John and untied him.
When they did, farmer John picked up a long stick and started whipping the calf with it.
'Why are you thrashing the poor calf?' his neighbors asked?
To which farmer John replied, 'I had to tell this beast for the past two days repeatedly...I am NOT your mother! I am NOT your mother!!!

Crazy story. Thieves broke into tea gardens in Northeast India and stole tea leaves, damaged tea bushes and hurt the entire tea industry.
Authorities offered a reward... and said the thieves are described as havingvery soothed lemony throats and are armed with large amounts of pee.
Authorities are questioning anyone in the area who seems ‘Englishly gay’.

Australian thieves stole 16 tons of ham and bacon from a Sydney warehouse sometime over the weekend.

Before the thieves can "live high on the hog," police hope to put them away with the aid of fingerprint analysis, DNA testing, and cholesterol screening.

The theft
Did you hear about the thieves that broke into the United Jewish Appeal offices?
They got away with over a million dollars in pledges!