Thin Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat? A: Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed.?.Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge.
Q: How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
A: One, but you must slice him really thin.
This is just a few over analyzing things I have done…
1) Why do some fat chicks think they’re thin and some thin chicks think they’re fat?
2) Why is it that if we sit on our desks they’ll brake, yet they want us to get under them in an earthquake?
3) Why do kamakazi piolots where helmets?
4) Why is there brail at the drive up ATM?
5) Why is it if parents just want us to do our best they get mad when we dont succeed?
6) Why do people ask for nutritional value at fast food places.
7) If you take the tag off your matress that reads ” do not remove” will they really come find you.
8) If beauty is only skin deep then why arent ugly people in realtionships?
9) Why are smokers surprised when they get cancer?
10) Are you made up side down if your nose runs and your feet smell
It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a high steeple.
One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he went into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out to the church and began the job.
He got done with the first side. It was looking great. But he noticed he had already used a half gallon. He didn't want to run back in town and being the creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner in the shed out back, and began to thin his paint.
It worked out great. He finished the remaining three sides with that last half gallon of paint.
That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he stepped outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that the first side was looking great, but that the paint on the other three sides had washed away.
The pastor looked up in sky in anguish and cried out, more...
A church congregation sent out requests to all the professional painters listed in their local Yellow Pages, requesting a bid on a price to repaint their church building. Almost all of the painters were within a few dollars of their competition, as expected, with the exception of one well-known, well-established, local company, which had been in business for years and had an excellent reputation in the community. This particular painter's bid was about half of what his competitions had bid, and naturally, was selected by the congregation to do the job.On the morning the job began, the painter realized that he had underbid the job by 50%! Not wanting to lose the job, he decided to thin the paint out with water, so he would be able to complete the job for the price quoted.One week later, he received a call from the priest, explaining that after the first rain, half of the paint had washed off the church. The painter returned, looked at the building, and sure enough, the job was ruined. more...
A group of girlfriends are on vacation, when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only"
Since they were without their boyfriends or parents, they decide to go in.
The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.
"We have 5 floors...go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what's inside"
So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads
"All the men here have it short and thin"
...the friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the Second floor reads
"All the men here have it long and thin."
Still, this wasn't good enough so the friends move up to the Third floor, where the sign read "All the men here have it short and thick."
This was still another disappointment, but knowing there are still 2 floors left, they more...