Thinking Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing that he had ever heard, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that more...

1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES

These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW

These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.

3) MANAGING BY POST-ITS®

Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their' busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-Its® while you are talking.

4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY

These managers just delegate everything to the secretary.

5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING

These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with irrelevant anecdotes.

6) MANAGING BY more...

Before Columbus' discovery why did mankind think the Earth was flat?

Doesn't the Bible in Isaiah 40-22 state that the Earth is a sphere?

Do brainstorms come with thunder and lightning?

Does anyone ever stop to think that maybe just maybe this question is totally pointless?

Does thought depend on language?

Don't you think that a hunch is just creativity trying to tell you something?

Don't you think that if everybody thinks nobody rules yet if somebody rules the rest are not permitted to think?

Have you ever stopped to think and forget to start again?

How can you think out loud?

How deep does a thought have to be to be a deep thought?

How do we know if it's later than we think?

How do we know if we're thinking straight?

How does one' pay attention'? Any do they accept Visa?

If great minds really think alike then what makes them so more...

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."
Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

Imagine, if you will, three temperate southern (US) women rocking away on a porch as the sultry summer's day comes to a slow end. The horizon is awash with the sun's setting hues. A few pesky no-see-ums fly about. The first lady speaks up in her slow, southern drawl and says: "Sisters, I've been thinking. Each of us has a husband whose name is LeRoy. It's been mighty confusing lately. Sometimes when I yell' LeRoy!!' your husband comes and sometimes yours answers and once in a while mine comes. I think it's time we rename our husbands to end the confusion." Quiet returns to the porch scene only to be interrupted by the creaking of the hold rocking chairs on the loose planks. The first lady again speaks up and says, "I think I'll name my husband' Seven-UP'". "Why, sister, why are you going to name your husband' Seven-UP'?" queries one of the old gals." Why, he's got seven inches and it's always up!" replies the first lady. The second lady then more...

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta, "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank God that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."
Santa, "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

A young man, shipwrecked on a small, deserted island, found an old oil lamp sticking out of the sand. He picked it up, and looked at it, thinking, "Wouldn't it be cool if there were a Genie in here?" He knew that Genies did not exist, but figured he had nothing to lose, so he dutifully polished the lamp.
To his amazement, an enormous Genie emerged from the lamp in a cloud of smoke. The Genie announced, "Thank you for freeing me from the lamp. In accord with the customs and principles of my profession, you are entitled to precisely three wishes. Wishes will be granted in accord with the laws of the State of California, and any claims, disputes, or disagreements relating to the wishes shall be resolved by binding arbitration applying California laws."
"That's weird," said the man, "I never thought a Genie would sound so much like a lawyer."
"But I am a lawyer," replied the Genie, "I am both a lawyer and a Genie. You more...