Threatened Jokes

After 9/11, the U.S. threatened to bomb Pakistan, "back to the Stone Age."
The plans were cancelled after Pakistan's president pointed out that the U.S. would be bombing his country up to the Stone Age.

A drugged-up Queens man went on a shooting-spree yesterday, hitting only red cars because he believed he was being threatened by the Bloods street gang. Meanwhile, handicapped people all over the city are hiding out, just in case he next concludes that he’s being threatened by the Crips.

There once was a little boy named Little Deeper. He was in the 3rd grade and his dad was the principal of his school. One day, he used this to the best of his advantage,...on his teacher.
He walked up to her desk, told her to take her clothes off.She said "
no"
.He said, "
if you don't, I'll tell my dad & he'll fire you"
, so she did.
Next, he walked up to her and told her to get on the desk and dance. She rejected again. He threatened her once again, and she did it.
One last time, he walked up to her desk, told her to f**k him. She screamed "
NO"
. Again, he threatened her again. So,...she gave in and did him.
Right as they started, his dad, the principal, walked in.He started screaming "
LITTLE DEEPER"
, "
LITTLE DEEPER"
, LITTLE DEEPER!!"
His son replied,"
Dad, if I go any deeper, I'll get STUCK!!!"

How Dogs and Men are the same:
Both take up too much space on the bed
Both have irrational fears re vacuum cleaning
Both are threatened by their own kind
Both mark their own territory
Both are bad at asking questions
Neither tells you what is bothering them
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches
Neither does any dishes
Both fart shamelessly
Neither of them notice when you have a new haircut
Both like dominance games
Both are suspicious of the Postman
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone
Neither understands what you see in cats
How Dogs are BETTER than men
Dogs don't have a problem expressing affection in public
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong
Dogs admit when they are jealous
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out
Dogs don't play games with you except fetch (and they never laugh at the way you throw)
Dog don't feel threatened by your more...

When Cleo's parents threatened to forbid her to see her boyfriend unless she told them why he'd been there so late the night before, she finally began to talk.
"Well," she said, "I took him into the loving room, and-"
"That's' living,' dear," her mother interrupted.
Said the happy girl, "You're telling me!"