Tiger Jokes / Recent Jokes
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."Her friend asks "What's the puzzle supposed to look like?"The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."So, the blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says:"First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.""Second, I'd advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!"
Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he's dead.
Tiger Woods has come out of seclusion to pursue the grand slam: a cocktail waitress, a porn star, a stewardess, and a receptionist.
Golf great Tiger Woods had some lacerations on his lip when he crashed his SUV the day after Thanksgiving... He claims his injuries were self-inflicted.. but normal behavior for himself, stating... "I always make cuts on Friday"..
Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What you need is one who's used to the procedure. He or she is thus liable to be merely playful, rather than actively irritated. You also need a friend, whom you really, really trust. The friend carries an apple wood cane; apple, or some other wood which will bend under stress rather than shattering. This, friend, is your backup, and the cane is his or her only tool for everything, from knocking stuff out of the way that the tiger is liable to eat, to crowd control, to hooking on and madly hanging on if things go wrong. What YOU carry is a ten foot length of pass-link chain. This is your leash. Pass-link chain is the stuff where the links will fit through each other. This is important. You need this so you can hook on a more...
Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement. According to the new contract, the next time Tiger plays a round, Elin will hand him his balls.
Tiger Woods signed a new endorsement deal today to promote "Hostess Hoe-Hoes".