Tillie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Tillie!
Tillie who?
Tillie comes I'm going to wait here!

Two girls were roommates.One evening, Millie came running in, shedding clothes on the way to the bathroom.She yelled, "Hurry up Tillie, get ready for our date!"Tillie didn't know anything about the date and said so.Millie explained that she'd met two really great looking guys and had made dates for both of them for that evening.Tillie said, "I'm not going out on any more blind dates.""Why not?""They're always the same," said Tillie, "It's sex, sex, sex! Nothing but a pain in the ass!"Millie looked at her in disbelief and exclaimed, "Honey, you're doing it wrong!"

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes.' Tillie,' he told me,' I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.
"The first envelope contained $5, 000 with a note,' Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably."
"The second envelope contained $10, 000 with a note,' Please use this for anice funeral' I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."
"And the more...

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been." Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes.' Tillie,' he told me,' I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'." "What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked." The first envelope contained $5, 000 with a note,' Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably." "The second envelope contained $10, 000 with a note,' Please use this for anice funeral' I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending." "And the third envelope?" more...

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Ike, Anne, Wyatt, Tillie.
Ike, Anne, Wyatt, Tillie who?
Ike Anne Wyatt Tillie (I can't wait till)
it's three o' clock!

Two girls were roommates.
One evening, Millie came running in, shedding clothes on the way to the bathroom.
She yelled, "Hurry up Tillie, get ready for our date!"
Tillie didn't know anything about the date and said so.
Millie explained that she'd met two really great looking guys and had made dates for both of them for that evening.
Tillie said, "I'm not going out on any more blind dates."
"Why not?"
"They're always the same," said Tillie, "It's sex, sex, sex!
Nothing but a pain in the ass!"
Millie looked at her in disbelief and exclaimed, "Honey, you're doing it wrong!"