Tim Jokes / Recent Jokes
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift."How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. 00."Thats a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. 00."Thats still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15. 00 bottle."What I mean," said Tim, "is Id like to see something really cheap."The clerk handed him a mirror.
Teacher: Tim, you missed school yesterday, didn't you?
Tim: Not a bit!
Teacher: How do you spell "dog"?
Pupil: d, o, g, enter.
A second grade teacher asked her students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful," the teacher said, "and how about you, Annie?"
Annie shyly stood up, shuffled her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Annie. What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher, stunned, promptly changed the subject to spelling. Later that day she called Billy's house. Billy's father answered the phone. The teacher explained what his son had said, and asked why he would say such a horrible thing.
Billy's father explained, "I'm actually a family court judge. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"