Titanic Jokes / Recent Jokes
What's the difference between Bill Clinton, and the Titanic ?? It is known how many went down on the Titanic.
The titanic is going to sink.... everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to god... Just then an italian asks the nearby, santa in the ship. Italian: how far is land from here? Santa: two miles. Italian: only two miles, then why are these fools making so much noise. The italian dives into the sea and then comes back to ask something again. Italian: just tell me which side is the land two miles from here? Santa: downwards......
THE COMPLETE LIST OF SORORITY JOKES
What's a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
1 You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
2 You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
3 You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them
in the gutter and they always come back for more.
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
1 Introduce herself.
2 Walks home.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on more...
Similarities between the Titanic video and the Clinton grand jury testimony video:
Titanic: $9.99 on the Internet
Clinton: $9.99 on the Internet
Titanic: over 3 hours long
Clinton: over 3 hours long
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe
Titanic: villian - White Star Line
Clinton: villian - Ken Starr
Titanic: Jack is a starving atrist
Clinton: Bill is a B.S. artist
Titanic: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar
Clinton: Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined
Clinton: Ditto for Monica
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit
Clinton: Let's not go there
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry
Clinton: Monica forced to return her gifts
Titanic: Behind the scenes, Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular
Clinton: Behind the scenes, Bill has a 70% approval more...
What's a blonde's mating call?
I think I'm drunk.
Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
Because The orange juice said concentrate
What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car?
Duel air bags!
How did the blonde rob the drive-up window at the bank?
She put her gun in the little basket along with a note that said "This is a stick-up"
How many blondes does it take to make popcorn?
Four. One to hold the pan, and three to shake the stove
Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
What do you call a beautiful blond Mensa member?
Foxymoron.
What goes Vroom-Screech Vroom-Schreech?
A more...
President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office
to see one of his aides nervously approaching him.
"What is it?" the President yells..
"It's the abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks..
"Just go ahead and pay it," responds the President.
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season.
The umpire walks up to the VIP section and says something..
Suddenly, Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the wall onto the field..
The stunned umpire shouts, "No, Mr. President! I said,
Throw the first PITCH!'"
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's specials are chicken and fish..
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Hillary says..
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks..
"Oh, he'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking more...
When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house, a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court.
Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven`s many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I`ve been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked more...