Titanic Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the difference between Bill Clinton, and the Titanic? ? It is known how many went down on the Titanic.

Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life",
by Bill Clinton.

One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over three hours to read
Clinton: Over three hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinto n: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go more...

Why do blondes have T. G. I. F. printed on each shoe?
"Toes Go In First."
What is the mating call of a blonde?
"I think I'm getting drunk"
What is the mating call of the brunette?
"Is the blonde bitch gone yet?"
What do blondes say after sex?
"Who were those men?"
Why do blondes wear panties?
"To keep their ankles warm!"
How do blondes turn on the lights after sex?
"Open the car door!"
What does a blonde have in common with an airplane?
"They both have a black box."
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
"Goes Home."
What does a blonde wear behind her ears to attract men?
"Her ankles!"
What do you call a blonde with a dollar over her head?
"All You Can Eat, Under a Dollar!"
What does a blonde have in common with a turtle?
"If they end up on their back, they're more...

One day, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Burmese were sailing on a ship in a sea. Suddenly, their boat was stopped by the guardian of the sea. And he told them if they want to continue their journey, they will have to decide which one of them must sacrifice his life by diving and drowning into the sea until his dead. Left with no choice the Captain suggested, "Ok, I will ask you some questions about the history of Titanic. Those who can answer the questions correctly will survive." The Captain asked, "When did Titanic sink in the Atlantic?". "Well, it was Sunday, 14th of April, 1912." the Chinese guy quickly answered. "Well done, now how many passengers were on board and how many lost during the disaster?". "2, 207 were on board and 1, 502 lives were lost." the Japanese guy answered after thinking for a while. "Well done," The Captain said, "now you Burmese guy tell me the names of those passengers who died during the more...

Only 880 people went down on the Titanic

Titanic was sinking.
Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilometer. Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "... In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards!

Q. What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
A. Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.