Toaster Jokes / Recent Jokes
If Radio Shack made toasters...The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anythingabout it. You would be able to buy all the parts to buildyour own toaster.
If Microsoft made toasters... Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buya toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'dstill have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), drawenough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of thespace in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toasterthat let's you control how light or dark you want your toastto be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances tofind out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good breadonly works with their toasters.
Subject: Going Toastal -- a tale for the dilbert age
Day 1: My boss, an engineer from the pre-CAD days, has successfully brought a generation of products from Acme Toaster Corp's engineering labs to market. Bob is a wonder of mechanical ingenuity. All of us in the design department have the utmost respect for him, so I was honored when he appointed me the lead designer on the new Acme 2000 Toaster.
Day 6: We met with the president, head of sales, and the marketing vice president today to hammer out the project's requirements and specifications. Here at Acme, our market share is eroding to low-cost imports. We agreed to meet a cost of goods of $9.50 (100,000). I've identified the critical issue in the new design: a replacement for the timing spring we've used since the original 1922 model. Research with the focus groups shows that consumers set high expectations for their breakfast foods. Cafe latte from Starbuck's goes best with a precise level of toastal more...
If Wang made toasters... Marketing would never agree upon what customers really wantor need in a toaster so millions of dollars would be spentin development and the toaster would be several years late. Just after release Wang would buy another company whosetoaster ran on NT but would find that they got more ordersfor the original.
One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. "Get the owner's manual!" her husband shouted. "I can't find it anywhere!" she cried, searching through the box. "Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen. "Well, the toast is fine, but the owner's manual is burnt to a crisp."
Toasters are an often overlooked part of life. But their importance is great! A good toaster which evenly toasts the bread to the perfect light browness of delectablity is worth it's weight in gold and if it can do bagels, look out! The question is what if the "BIGGIES IN TECHNO" made toasters? If IBM made toasters...
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters. If Xerox made toasters...
You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you. If Radio Shack made toasters...
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own toaster. If Oracle made toasters...
They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still more...
If Wang made toasters...Marketing would never agree upon what customers really wantor need in a toaster so millions of dollars would be spentin development and the toaster would be several years late.Just after release Wang would buy another company whosetoaster ran on NT but would find that they got more ordersfor the original.