Tomato Jokes / Recent Jokes
a teenage couple are getting ready to have a sleep over the boy tells his girl "my brother sleeps in the same bunkbed". they plan a code if she wants it harder she should say lettuce and if she wants it faster she should say tomato and go to bed.
later they check to see if his brother is asleep and he slips himself inside her after a little while the only sounds in the room are groans "lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato". then the younger brother wakes up and says "can you two stop making sandwiches up there cause you are covering me in mayonnaise.
2 Tamato's
byWhat doses one tamato say another tamato in a race ?
The one says to the other to Ketchup after it passes it
If restaurants functioned like shrink-wrapped (Microsoft) software: Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? more...
Seems that there was a noted gardener who was famous for his wonderful tomato plants. As would happen, one day a young lady asked him his secret for success. He replied that each morning he went out to his tomato plants with nothing on but a robe. He would stand in front of them and flash them. He suggested that she try his method.
A few weeks passed before they again met, and being the gentleman he was, he inquired as to her success. She replied that nothing had happened to her tomato plants, but that he should come and see her cucumbers!
The Tomato family is walking down the street. There's the mama tomato, the papa tomato and baby tomato.
They're walking at a good pace when the baby starts lagging behind. Papa tomato starts getting mad. By the third block papa is so furious that he runs back and with his fist, squashes baby tomato.
He smiles and says, ''Ketchup!'''
Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support waiter. Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. Patron: more...