Tomato Jokes / Recent Jokes
There's this cucumber that's dating this tomato.
the tomato says to the cucumber; "i don't really like you."
so the cucumber replies; "that's ok, 'cuz you're not my type!"
*note-this joke works especially well on irritating telephone solicitors*
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
It's been proven that people can lessen reactions to allergies by laughing.
Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system.
Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day.Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
In the middle ages, people would pin the name of their sweetheart to their sleeve on Valentine's Day and keep it there for a week, hence 'wearing their heart on their sleeve'.
It was during the Victorian era that the formerly nude Cupid was redesigned as wearing a skirt.
The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
Tomato Ketchup was once used as medicine in the United States. Was sold as "Dr.Miles Compound Extract of Tomato"
When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red
Dating back to the 1600's, more...
there is a 3 tomatos walking down the street, a daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato, the baby tomato starts to trail behind...so the father turns around goes back to the baby and steps on him...and says..."ketchup"
A tomato, a piece of chewing gum, and a penis are all talking.
The tomato says "I've got the poorer live, I get chop up and stuck in a sandwhich".
The piece of chewing gum says "No, mine's poorer, I get chewed up, spit out and stepped on".
The penis says "No, by far I've gor the poorer life... I get a plastic case fixed over my head, then I'm shoved in a dark tunnel and prepared to do push ups' till I throw up!"
Their was a mommy tomato a daddy tomato and a baby tomato. The baby was falling behide and the mommy bumped the daddy tomato and he fell right back on the baby and said, ”Ketchup! ”