Tony Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and more...

This is a TRUE story.
My momma, my little sister and me went to our neighbors house for the third of July last year, and after the fireworks,(when Mr. Chuck [The Dad] burned his hand on artillery shell.) it started gettin dark and we all heard a noise. The oldest son, Tony, (he graduated this year) the middle child, and my best friend, Miranda, and me decided to find out what it was. So we started off, me carryin the shoes, Miranda carryin the flashlight, and Tony carryin our only defense against the raging armydilla, a hammer...
Jordan Baker
Joaquin, Texas

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent."I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen."Allow me to demonstrate."She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am.""Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?""Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Richard Lugar to the White House and says, "Senator Lugar, I wonder if you can more...

While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, more...

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
"Hi, is Tony home?"
"No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
"No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.
A more...

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
"Hi, is Tony home?"
"No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
"No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says, "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you
another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait
any longer and more...

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell, the wife answers.
'Hi is Tony home?'
'No he went to the store.'
'Well, you mind if I wait?'
'No come in.'
They sit down and the friend says 'You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.'
Nora thinks about this for a second an figures what the hell - a hundred bucks.
She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says 'They are so beautiful I got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could
just see the both of them together.'
Nora thinks about this and says what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look.
Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home
and his wife says 'You know your weird more...