Tool Jokes / Recent Jokes
A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front:Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back:...and I will fill your cavity.
A priest and a Nun were lost in the desert, riding on a camel. All of a sudden, the camel dies, and their only transportation is gone.
The nun and the Priest are now doomed to die, and they decide to just sit and talk and confess some things...during their conversations, they come across the subject of sex.
The Nun then shyly speaks, "I am a virgin, and have never seen what is between a man's legs". So the Priest, being pretty confident about his size, whips it out, and tells her, "This is a tool...the tool that gives life".
The nun thinks for awhile, and says - "well then Mr, how about you shove that thing up that dead camel's ass!"
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
>> Freddie Bloor
>> --------------
>>
>> Now this is the tale of young Freddie Bloor,
>> whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door.
>> By the time they freed him he didn't feel well
>> for his private parts were mangled to hell.
>>
>> They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew
>> but when they arrived there was nowt they could do.
>> What a sad blow for Fred, condemned without choice,
>> to a life with no sex and a high squeaky voice.
>>
>> But lucky for Fred, so he wouldn't feel a fool
>> some bright spark suggested a bionic tool.
>> A bright new electric one made out of brass,
>> though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.
>>
>> So newly equipped and after a rest,
>> Fred thought he would put his new tool to the test.
>> So finding a woman, the nearest one handy,
>> he piled her with drink and made her feel randy.
>>
>> The girl without waiting, put more...
A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front:
Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back:...and I will fill your cavity.