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Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.
To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing' Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!"
"YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.
The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general.
"Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing' Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off.
"YES SIR!!" more...
Top 10 Most Rejected Children Book Titles
1. The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refrigerator
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. 101 Games to Play in the Road
4. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork
5. Your Nightmares are real
6. Monsters Killed Grandpa
7. All Guns Squirt Water
8. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
9. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree
10. Dad's New Wife Robert
Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....
The race began....
Honestly:
No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:
"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"
"They will NEVER make it to the top."
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....
This one wouldn't give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the more...
Why did the blonde go up on top of the bar?
Because the bartender said the drinks were on the house!!
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
A shy fellow goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour he finally gets enough courage and goes over and ask her if she would like to chat for a while. She responded by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight! ” Everyone in the bar stared at them. The fellow was hopelessly and completely embarrassed, slinking back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walked over to him and apologized. She said “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studding how people react to embarrassing situations. ” To this the fellow responded at the top of his lungs “What do you mean £500. 00, you must be out of your mind!!!!! ”
Mrs. Bandlow says to her husband,....."I had the strangest dream last night. It was Christmas, and our tree was decorated with all kinds of penises. White ones, black ones, circumcised and uncircumcised, big and small. And on the top of the tree was the *perfect* penis."
Mr. Bandlow says, "I bet that one was mine?"
She says, "Sorry, honey, it wasn't."
He says, "You know, it's weird, but I had almost the same dream. A Christmas tree decorated with pussies... shaven and unshaven, thin and thick lips, scented and unscented... and the one on the top was the *perfect* pussy."
She says, "I suppose that one on the top was mine?"
He says, "Nope. Yours was holding up the tree!"