Touchdown Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"The old man replied, "It's fart football!"A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -"Touchdown, tie score!" After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -"Touchdown, tie score!"Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!" Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"

John arrived home in the early hours of the morning, drunk. Hoping to not wake his sleeping wife, he snuck into bed and lay there for a few minutes when he suddenly cut a very loud fart. Awakening, she asked, "What the hell was that?"
"Touchdown. I'm winning, 7 nothing," he replied.
"I'm going to fix him," she thought to herself, as she let one loose.
"What the heck was that?" he asked.
"Touchdown, score is tied," she replied, with a grin.
"I'll fix her," John thought to himself. He lay there for a few minutes, trying to work one up. He tried so hard, he shit the bed.
"Now, what the hell was that?" his wife asked.
"Half-time. Switch sides!" replied John.

The Bears were trailing the Packers 42-0 when the Bears wide reicever said we need to score a touchdown quick to get back in this when suddenly the quarterback says What the heck is a touchdown?

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -
"Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -
"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -
"Touchdown, tie score!"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -
"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck more...

The
old folks no sooner hit the pillows when the old man
passes gas and says, "Seven Points," his wife
rolls over and says, "what in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says
"Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man lets another
one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and
says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker
and says,"Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressures on the old man. He refuses to get
beat by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat
is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's
got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, "What the hell was that?" He replies, "Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing." She thinks to herself "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies "Touchdown, tie score." Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in bed. The wife asks, "Now what the hell was that?" He replied, "Half time, switch sides."