Tracks Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old guys and a [ethnic] go hunting.The first night, one old man
comes back with a deer.
"How'd ya' get it?" the [ethnic] asked.
"Follow the tracks, follow the tracks-BOOM-got me a deer."
The second night, the other old man comes back to camp with two
deer.
"How'd ya' get 'em?" the [ethnic] asked.
"Follow the tracks, follow the tracks-BOOM-got me two deer."
On the third night, the [ethnic]'s out until three in the morning.
He comes staggering into the camp all beat up, with torn clothes,
tons of bruises, and a lot of fractures.
"What happened to you?" asked one of the old men.
"Follow the tracks, follow the tracks-BOOM-got hit by a train."

A Jatt, who had spent his whole life in his village, comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.
Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"
The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tracks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks.
The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught He was found to be a Sardar.
He was questioned.
He explained that there was a man standing on the track and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc
Then authorities questioned: Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger.
You should have run over that person Sardar said: Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.

There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider who were out hunting. The Aggie brought back a big buck.' 'How did you get that?'' they all asked.' 'I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and' boom' I shot a buck.'' Then the longhorn brought back an elephant.' 'How did you get that?'' they all asked.' 'I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and' boom' I shot an elephant.'' Then the Red Raider came back all beat up. "What happened?" they all asked. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and' boom' I got hit by a train."

A blond, a burnett and a red head go hunting. The red head comes back with a deer.
"Oh, my, gosh how did you do that?" The blond and the burrnet said.
"I saw the trakes, I followed the tracks, and I shot the deer.
Next, the burnett comes back with a bear.
"Oh, my, gosh how did you do that?" The bland and red head said.
"I saw the trakes, I followed the tracks, and I shot the bear.
Well, the blond comes back and she is just beat up, her clothes are ripped and there was blood everywhere. The other 2 go
"Oh, my, gosh, what happened to you?"
The blond replied, " I saw the trakes, I followed the tracks, and I got hit by a train."

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.