Trade Jokes / Recent Jokes
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American: "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police."Russian: "In Russia we dont require that you dial anything."
A man is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whatcha get the case of beer for?"
"I got it for my wife," answers Bob.
"Oh!" exclaimed his friend, "Good trade."
There was a stupid boy named Max. His dad wanted to see what he would do if he gave him a dollar, so Max's dad gave him a dollar the next day. Max was so excited. As he walked to school that day, the dollar in his hand, a little girl came up to him and said, "I will give you 2 shiny quarters for that dollar." Max figured that 2 was better than 1, so he willingly traded. When Max reached the school, a little boy came up to him and said, "I'll give you 3 dimes for those 2 quarters." Max traded again. Then his teacher came up to him, and knowing that he was so dumb, asked him to trade his 3 dimes for 4 nickels. Again, he traded. As Max was walking home from school that day, a old man came up to him and said, "Will you trade those 4 nickels for these 5 pennies?" Max traded. When Max got home, his dad asked his where his money was. Max showed him and Max never got money again.
The teacher was trying hard to explain the meaning of inflation - galloping rate of price rise without relevance to income levels did not register on the students. So the teacher tried to explain it by giving an, example:
"The price of the ticket for entry into Pragati Maidan for the India International Trade Fair is Rs. 4 per adult as against 50-paise it was five or six years ago. This is inflation. Did you get it?"
"Yes, Sir, this is trade fair inflation. What about the vast increase in the number of visitors to the trade fair?"
The teacher bewildered for a while replied, "Call it populous inflation."
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
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