Trails Jokes / Recent Jokes

This list is circulating among Forest Service employees. These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:
"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."
"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."
"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."
"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."
"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."
"All the mile markers are missing this year."
"Found a smouldering cigarette left by a horse."
"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."
"Too many more...

A wilderness area asked hikers to fill out comment cards. These are actual comments left by hikers: Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill. Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests. Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter. Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them. The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call XXX-XXX-XXXX. Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights. Escalators would help on steep uphill sections. Need more signs to keep area pristine. A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead. The places where trails do not exist are not well marked. I brought lots more...

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards: Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands. Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness. Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals. All the mile markers are missing this year. Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse. Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill. Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests. Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter. Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them. The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals. A small deer came more...

These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.""Escalators would help on steep uphill sections." "Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.""Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.""Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.""All the mile markers are missing this year.""Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.""Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.""Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these more...

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards:
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
All the mile markers are missing this year.
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate more...