Trains Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do David Beckham and British rail trains have in common.
A: They both go in and out of Victoria

how are trains and teachers differrent?
cause a teacher says spit out your gum and a train says chew-chew

I don't know if you saw Oprah a few days ago, but the winners of the "Young People Write an Essay About the Holocaust Contest" were announced. Fifty young people from around the country were selected to appear on Oprah's show and read portions of their essays, then watch Oprah cry with a real-life Holocaust survivor. Why do I think the contest was rigged? It's because my essay was not chosen, even though I am a young person and, like Oprah, I totally believe in angels.

Luckily, I have a forum for my essay (Which my angels helped me write, by the way.) on Daily Comedy. Here it is. I think that after reading it you will agree that my holocaust essay's not being chosen is the biggest travesty in history since the holocaust.
Oprah is Better Than Hitler
An Essay by Kurt Metzger and Angels

Hi, my name is Kurt and I hate the holocaust. It was totally not cool. If I ever had the chance to meet Hitler, I would tell him that he is a jerk and his mustache did more...

Why are electric trains like a mothers breasts? They were both designed for the kids, but its the fathers who are always playing with them.

Do buses and trains run on time? Usually, yes. No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.

Why is it not safe to sleep on trains?
Because they run over sleepers!

What's the difference between the teacher and the one who minds trains?
The teacher trains minds, the other minds trains.