Transit Jokes / Recent Jokes

This article appeared in today's edition of the Toronto Sun. The "TTC" is the Toronto Transit Commission, and we usually refer to our subway trains as "the rocket".
SIZZLIN' HOTLINE DOUSED BY TTC
Whip them. Spank them. Make them ride the rocket in boy scout uniforms.
Beaten, but not bowed, transit officials say it took them no more than a day to realize a wrong number on one of their pamphlets connected riders to a well-travelled sex dominatrix.
TTC spokesman Christine Burkett said yesterday that the "Rocket Rider" guides were stripped from local transit vehicles last Monday after the number for a Spanish-language transit hotline turned out to be that for a local house of domination.
"It was a case of a typo not being caught," Burkett said. "Few noticed, but this woman was probably pretty pleased with the business you brought her," Burkett said of a Sun story which told the naughty tale of the snafu. With the fifth more...

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the more...

Bay Area Native Quiz

Want to know if someone is a native of the San Francisco
Bay Area? Want to find out if you qualify yourself? Take
the following quiz and find out!

1) Complete the following phrase:

Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, __________

2) Name the five bridges that cross San Francisco Bay.
Extra credit: put them in order from north to south.
Extra extra credit: explain how to get across the
Golden Gate Bridge during rush
hour in less than an hour.

3) Complete the following phrase:
2400 Mission, top of the hill, __________

4) You're at a San Francisco Spiders hockey game at the Cow
Palace. (True: a team called' the Spiders' play at a
place called' the Cow Palace.' Go figure.) A woman comes
out to sing the Star Spangled Banner wearing a huge hat
with a model of the entire financial district, including
the TransAmerica building, on top of it. more...