Trap Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three couples are in line at the pearly gates. St. Peter says to the first couple, "Sorry, I can't let you in." "Why not?" asked the husband. "Because all the two of you ever cared about was drinking. "You were either stone drunk or hung over. "You didn't have a sober day in your marriage." said St. Peter.
"That's not true!" pleaded the couple. "Really, now." said St. Peter. "What's your wife's name?" "Sherry.", said the man "See, you even married a woman named after a drink!" said St. Peter just as he released a trap door, sending them straight down to hell. Then he a told the second couple they couldn't get in to Heaven, either. "Why not?" asked the second husband. "Because all you ever cared about was making money, and you didn't care how you did it. You would cheat anybody, anytime to make your fortune." said St. Peter. "You even cheated your own brothers and more...

A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders but one day, everyone was under the speed limit.

The officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD."

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.

From Herb Caen's column in the San Francisco Chronicle:
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car. Instead of payment,
he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police department that contained another
picture-of handcuffs.

Speed Trap
A Police officer had been told by his sergeant that he was to bring up his quota of speeding fines, he decided to park and use his radar gun flashing the cars as they drove by on a busy street.
Well one hour went by then two and no one was speeding. After about six hours a lone car came speeding by at well over the limit, the officer turned on his lights and siren and pulled the car over. As the officer approached the drivers window he remarked "I've been waiting for you all day" and the driver replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could"

Three tough city mice are sitting in a bar having a drink.
The first mouse takes a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the bar and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk around the house collecting mouse poison. Then I return to my nest and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee - just for an extra jolt to start off each day."
The second mouse gulps his scotch down, throws the glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air. Then I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet, toss it to the ground and take the cheese for my breakfast. This is all part of my normal morning routine."
The third mouse, bored with the conversation, looks at the other two mice, sets his glass of beer down and says, "I've had enough of you two. I'm going home to more...

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue."Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired."But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain...""Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtownand sit a while till the sarge gets back.""But, officer, I think you really should know...""And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."

My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.