Trapped Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey be very careful when you drive the ball-don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses! Alright let's go up there, apologize, and see how much that's going to cost."They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side on the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke the window?""Uh yeah. Sorry about that," the husband replied. "No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes - more...

Confucius Says Jokes
Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.
He who buries a man's wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
He who plays with self, pulls boner.
Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.
House without toilet is uncanny.
Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.
Man's wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.
Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.
Man who lay woman more...

Monday April 5 2010,115 Chinese miners were rescued from a collapsed mine they had been trapped in for 8 days.
Their only food was bark and straw that floated in the water that had flooded the shaft they were trapped in
In related news the Miners have returned to the mine citing better living conditions underground

A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.

Golf GenieA couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix." The wife teed up and shacked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost." They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied." No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant more...