Trapped Jokes / Recent Jokes
What happens when you cross a pig with a family court judge?
Nothing. There are some things a pig just won’t do.
What’s the difference between a dead skunk and a dead family court judge in the road?
Vultures will eat the skunk.
You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a family law judge. Your gun has only two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the judge. Twice.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of the Court of Appeal judges on them. .. and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Your family court judge and your ex-mother-in-law are trapped in a burning building. You have time to save only one of them. Do you have lunch or go to a movie?
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball- don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix." The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course.
The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses! All right, let's go up there, apologise and see how much this is going to cost."
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in."
They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.
"No, actually I want to thank you- I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm more...
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf... Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed,
"I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh! no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant more...
A man has been trapped on an island for several years when he sees a small wake in the water. After a time, a lovely lady scubadiver rises from the surf. She walks to the man and exclaims, " You must be miserable, how long has it been since you have had a great smoke?"
While the deranged man stammered for an answer, the lovely lady unzips the side pocket on her sleeve, and produces a Cuban cigar.
She gazes into the now-smoking man's face and whispers, "and how long has it been since you have had a real drink"?
Again the man stammers as she unzips her other sleeve to produce a flask of ancient Brandy.
As she teasingly unzips the main zipper to her wetsuit, she asks, "And how long has it been since you have known real pleasure?"
The man scrambles to his feet and yells "Oh my gosh, you don't really have a SAXOPHONE in there do ya?"
Golf Genie
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."
The wife teed up and shacked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.
"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm more...
Golf GenieA couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."The wife teed up and shacked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?""Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied."No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three more...