Trapped Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette found themselves trapped on an island about 20 miles from the mainland.
The redhead began swimming, got tired after a couple of miles, turned around and swam back.
The brunette then started to swim, but got tired after six miles, so she turned around and swam back.
The blonde jumped in the water, swam nearly seventeen miles, got tired, turned around and swam back.

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
You shoot the lawyer. Twice.

A husband took his wife to play her first round of golf...
Nervous, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the largest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique lamp was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that lamp for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed more...

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick OReilly wandered by. "Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oim sinkin!" Dont worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oim the strongest man in Erin, and Oill pull ye right out o there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddys hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an Oi cant do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oill have to get some help." As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! Dye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"