Trash Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman and her lover are in bed, when there's a knock on the door.
She says, "It must be my husband! Ok, I'll handle this."
She grabs the trash bin, opens the door and, smiling sweetly, says to her husband, "Darling, please empty the trash."
While he is out, the other man escapes and walks back home.
He thinks, "She is sooo smart, unlike my wife."
He comes up to his door and knocks, his wife opens the door, and hands him the trash bin, saying, "Darling, please empty the trash bin."
He carries the basket, thinking, "What a stupid bitch! The whole damn day at home, and can't find some time to empty the trash!"

Q. Whats the difference between a blonde and the trash???
A. At least the trash gets taken out once a week.

386: No, 486: Oops, Pentium: The only chip to consider if you're thinking of
buying a PC. Until Intel ramps up the 686.
640K: The salary the average Wall Street PC analyst pulls in each year.
Algorithm: A catchy 1930 song by George and Ira Gershwin.
Availability: Date when a dozen copies of the beta version will be hurriedly
shrink-wrapped for the benefit of the press and the investment community.
Backup: The chore you were really, honestly, going to do the very next thing
before you switched drive letters and accidentally copied older, out-of-date
versions of you files over all your newer ones at 3 a.m.
Buffer: The only other job - involving a chamois at the car wash - for which
most computer store salespeople are qualified.
Bundled software: Free applications like home dentistry packages and Esperanto
spelling dictionaries that are thrown in with cheap clones so you think you're
getting real value for your money.
CD-ROM: A $30 more...

3-year-old, Reese says his prayer, "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name."A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what
it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from
the prayer. Finally, she more...

The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin.

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. It is illegal to skateboard without a license. You may not fart in a public place after 6 P. M. on Thursdays. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. You may not kiss your wife`s breasts. Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. Big Pine Key It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail. more...

You might just be white trash if. .. You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos."
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
You keep a can of RAID on your kitchen table.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.