Treatment Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.2. Be cheerful at all times.Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated.Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief.You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he is doing or why he is doing it.It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.6. Submit to novel experimental treatment readily.Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper will surely be of widespread interest.7. Pay more...
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love, they produce double amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shiny and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes, and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow... better than Oil of O-Lay.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.... and your falling off the' pastry wagon'.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special running shoes either!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The more...
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
to wake him at 5: 00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper, ” Please wake me at 5: 00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9: 00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5: 00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.
Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
2. Be cheerful at all times.
Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.
3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated.
Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief.
You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.
5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he is doing or why he is doing it.
It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.
6. Submit to novel experimental treatment more...
Jack goes to the doctor and says, "I'm having trouble getting my penis erect. Can you help me?" After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "The problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you, except if you're willing to try a new experimental treatment." "What's the treatment?" Jack asks sadly. "Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it then says, "The thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much. I'll have the treatment." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being more...
An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man," said the Major.
He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man," barked the Major.
He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your more...
A lawyer and a Pope passed away at the same time and went up to heaven together. After being their for a short time, the Pope noticed that the lawyer was receiving far better treatment than he was. He went to talk with St. Peter to find out why.
"Please understand that I'm not complaining, " the Pope said, "but it seems to me that the lawyer I came up here with is receiving better treatment than I. He has been given a much better room and more servants. I don't understand why. I was a Pope and served God all my life, he is but a lawyer."
"You must understand," responded St. Peter, "we have many Popes up here, but he is the first lawyer we have ever had."