Truck Jokes / Recent Jokes

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?".
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the more...

The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of traffic.
The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver. She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street, but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side.
"Driver!" the passenger screamed, "Are you trying to get us both killed?"
"Relax, lady," he said, "just do what I do. Close your eyes."

Bumper sticker seen on a little gray truck in Arkansas:
This daughter protected by Double 0 Buckshot!!!

Ya've ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
Ya've ever heard a sheep bleat and had romantic thoughts.
Ya've ever hit a deer with your car... on purpose!
Ya've ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubba!" during a piano recital
Ya've ever stabbed the back of someone's hand while they were reaching for the last piece of chicken.
Ya've ever stolen toilet paper.
Ya've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
Ya've ever used lard in bed.
Ya've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
Ya've ever yelled "squeal like a piggy" when making love.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
Your dog has ever brought home something that ya cooked for dinner.
Your dog passes gas and ya claim it.
Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
Your high more...

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road.
Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?".
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road!", replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck". The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the more...

A truck driver was driving along and passed a sign that said "low bridge ahead."
Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under it.
Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car. He walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver said, "No officer. I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!"

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers.
The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.
"Astonishing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief. "What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?"
The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."