Trucker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road, so he decides to pull over. On approaching the door he reads a sign: "NO NERDS". He shrugs it off and enters. He is greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. "Are you a nerd?" the bartender asks. "No, I'm a truck driver", he replies. He's allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it.
While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glasses. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away. "What the hell did you do that for!?" Asks the trucker. "Well," the bartender answers, "it's nerd season". "Nerd season?" asks the trucker, confused. "Yeah. See, the nerd population in this town is getting out of hand, so we've opened up nerd more...

A trucker who has been out on the road for some weeks stopped into a brothel. Going up to the madam, he slapped $500 on the counter and said, "I would like your ugliest woman and a plain bologna sandwich."
Surprised by his strange request, the madam replied, "Sir, for that kind of money you could have my finest lady and a three-course gourmet meal."
"Listen, honey," the trucker replied, "I'm not horny, I'm homesick!"

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stopsinto a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to theMadam, drops down $500 and says,"I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!"The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money youcould have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'mhomesick."

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?" To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times."

A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order, "Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights."
Bewildered he goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, "I think this guy's in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!"
The cook says, "He wants 3 pancakes & 2 eggs sunny-side up."
The waiter takes a bowl of beans to the trucker.
He looks at it and growls, "What's this? I didn't order this!"
The young man tells him, "The cook says that while you're waiting for your parts you might as well gas up!"

A trucker stops for red light and a blonde girl catches up. She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window. The girl says, "Hi, my name is Kelly, and you are losing some of your load."The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.The trucker stops for another red light and the girl again catches up. She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window and she says, "Hi my name is Kelly, and you are losing some of your load!"He ignores her again and continues down the street.The trucker stops for still another red light and the girl catches up again all out of breath. She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window. Again, she says "Hi, my name is Kelly, and you are losing some of your load!"He dismisses her and starts off down the street, then stops. The trucker gets out of the truck, approaches the blonde girl, and says: "Hi, my name is Andy, and I am driving a SALT TRUCK!"

There was this trucker with 40 peinguins in his truck he was supposed to take to the zoo. In the middle of the road the truck broke down. A person driveing by (lets say his name is Bob) asks if the trucker needs help. The trucker (lets say his name is Joe) asks Bob to take the 40 peingiuns to the zoo for him. Bob agrees. An hour later the truck is fixed and Joe drives to the zoo to make sure all the peinguins arived safely. When he arives the peinguins are no where to be found! Joe drives around looking for Bob. Finally he finds him pulling out of a movie parking lot with the 40 peinguins in his car. "I thought i told you to bring these peinguins to the zoo!" Joe exclamied,
" I did" replied Bob " But I had some money left so I took them to the movies too!"