Trucker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A truck driver from out of town goes into the local grill and sits down for lunch. In walks this guy carrying a briefcase and wearing a polyester suit and a bow tie. The cook comes out from the kitchen, pulls out a gun and shoots the guy without a word. The trucker jumps back and screams, "Whatcha do that for!?" The cook replied, "You must not be from around here. It's open season on lawyers." The trucker smiles and eats his lunch.
After he finishes his lunch, the trucker gets in his rig. As he's driving away, he sees a huge pothole in the middle of the street and gets an idea. The tractor hits the pothole, turns on its side and slides into a telephone pole.
All of the sudden, the truck is surrounded by men in cheap polyester suits and bow ties sticking business cards through the broken windshield. The trucker pulls his gun out of the glove box and starts shooting lawyers as fast as he can.
As the trucker pauses to reload, a police officer slaps the more...

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

A grey-haired truck driver stopped at a diner for lunch, when three motorcyclists walked in. Just as the trucker was about to eat, the first biker walked up to him and put his cigarette in the trucker's coffee.
The second biker then walked up to the trucker, grabbed the burger from his hand and took a bite. The third biker grabbed his pie and ate it.
Remaining calm, and without saying a word, the trucker got up, paid the cashier and left. When he was gone, one of the bikers smugly said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"
"Not much of a driver either," replied the waitress. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcyles."

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load." He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker looks at her and finally he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

There was a trucker who hated lawyers so much that each time he saw one, he would turn off the road and hit him. One day he noticed the Pope standing at the side of the road next to a broken down car. The trucker pulled over and offered the Pope a ride.
As they were driving along, the trucker noticed a lawyer so he pulled off the road to hit him. Suddenly remembering the Pope was with him, he turned back onto the road but still heard a thump. The trucker said, "Oh no! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit him."
"That's ok," replied the Pope. "I saw that you were going to miss him, so I got him with the door."

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee, & a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers pulled up. They came in, and one grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger out of his hand and took a huge bite from it. The second biker drank the trucker's coffee, & the third biker wolfed down the apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word, just paid the cashier & left. When he was gone, the bikers snickered & congratulated each other for being such bad asses. As the cashier walked up, a biker growled, "He ain't much of a man is he?" "He's not much of a driver neither," replied the cashier. "He just backed his 18 wheeler over three motorcycles."

A young woman with a happy, cheerful voice was working in her husband's trucking line office. She answered a phone call from a trucker asking for directions to the terminal. After a short conversation, he said he could hardly wait to meet her. "I just know you are small, blond with blue eyes," he said. "No," young woman replied, "I'm tall, brunette and have brown eyes." "Close enough!" said the trucker.