True Story Jokes / Recent Jokes
According to a new survey 60% of adults say they're aware of someone who's
gone to work under the influence of drugs. Apparently the other 40% have
never heard of the Dallas Cowboys.
- Conan O'Brien
Salt Lake City is No. 1 in the world in Jell-O consumption. Says Jay
Leno, "But LA is still No. 1 if you include recreational use. You know
- naked wrestling, Jell-O shots."
St. Petersburg, Florida:
A Florida woman is offering to sell one of her kidneys to pay off a
hospital debt.
Ruth Sparrow ran an ad over the weekend in The St. Petersburg Times. It
read: "KIDNEY - Runs good. Taking offers."
Sparrow is serious. She owes $20,000 for gall bladder surgery, and wants
to pay it off.
She says both her kidneys work fine and she's willing to part with one to
settle her debt. She offered one directly to Bayfront Medical Center,
which turned it down.
The newspaper has stopped running the ad, since selling organs is illegal
in Florida.
Miss Canada 1996, Danielle House, got into a bar fight and was
charged with assault after allegedly causing bodily harm to another woman.
Says Jerry Perisho: "The other day I went to a Canadian beauty pageant
and a hockey game broke out."
A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and
stole - are you ready for this? - the bank's video camera. While it was
recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere
in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a
street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then
realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was, (2) he
could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he
was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help
I work for the computer help desk of a large university. One of our more memorable clients is infamous for what I can only describe as techno-paranoia. The last time she called to tell us we were going to have to do something about the "Internet Communists".
She was convinced that they were getting into her PC through her television and putting typographical errors in her word processing files. "They weren't there before," she insisted, "and I don't make those kinds of mistakes!"