Truman Jokes / Recent Jokes
Outgoing U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan gave a farewell address in Missouri, where the audience was packed – perhaps with people trying to get their first glimpse of a black man.
Annan chose to speak at the Truman Presidential Library to contrast the presidential styles of Harry Truman, who ended a just war using the bomb, with George W. Bush, whose war ended up just bombing.
A career statesman, Annan used judicious language in his criticism of the Bush administration. Here then is a dictionary of diplomatic doublespeak:
When Annan said, “America must not sacrifice its democratic ideals while waging war against terrorism,” he meant, “The President is a douchebag.”
When Annan said, “No nation can make itself secure by seeking supremacy over all others,” he meant, “No seriously, he’s a douchebag.”
And when Annan concluded, “The U.S. has a special responsibility to the world because it continues to have extraordinary more...
The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U. S.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780, 000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little brat was Ms. Robertson's son.
2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74, 000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was more...
The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U. S.The following are this year's candidates:1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little brat was Ms. Robertson's son.2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just more...
It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.
Here are this year's winners:
7th Place:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80, 000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
6th Place:
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74, 000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Truman!
Truman who?
Truman and good needed for the jury!