Trust Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.
Q: Why don't men trust women? A: You can't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Suffering from too much Licentiousness?
If you're oversexed, you should get married
Trust me, it'll help ya taper off
Friend of mind always has sex on his mind
Once a month like clockwork, he gets a nosebleed
Girl I once knew was really quite a wild lil' lover
She was able to whip up whitecaps on her waterbed
I remember one girl from high school sex class
She WAS the class' homework every nite
Girl came down with a rare disability -
an ingrown mattress
Gifts are tuff to buy for this girl I know -
I mean, what can ya give someone who's had everyone
She was so gentle, wouldn't molest a fly -
unless it was open of course
She doesn't run after men any more -
now she roller blades
Men like her because of her vocabulary -
"Yes" is the greater part of it
For all of you non-smokers out there, trust me -
There's nothing better before a cigarette than sex
Come to think of it, my Grandfather was more...
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of' 97: Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas
the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering
experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But
trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in
a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how
fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossedyour
worried mind, the kind that blindside you at more...
A man is sitting at a bar and sees this beautiful woman on the arm of some drunk. He talks with the bartender and finds out that she is a prostitute.
He walks over to her and says " Is it true that your a prostitute?"
She replies "Yeah what can I do for you big boy?"
He thinks a second and finally asks her what she charges. She replies "$100 for a hand job."
"Are you crazy?" he responds.
She walks the man over to the window, "see that Ferrari out there? I own that car. Trust me you wont leave unsatisfied." So he takes her to his apartment, gives her the money and they get down to business.
The next day he sees her at the bar again. He walks over to her and says, "Last night was great."
"You think that was great," she replies" wait tell you have one of my blow jobs."
"How much?" the man asks more...
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room more...
Trust is like money; you spend it, you save it, you lend it, and sometimes you get robbed.