Tuesdays Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself "I know I led a wild life but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this."
Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.
COUNSELOR: What's the problem, you look depressed?
GUY: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.
COUNSELOR: Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?
GUY: Sure, I love to drink.
COUNSELOR: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much as you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?
GUY: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
COUNSELOR: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest more...

A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself "I know I led a wild life but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this." Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.
Counselor: What's the problem, you look depressed?
Guy: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.
Counselor: Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much a you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars more...

ONCE Lord Hanuman got angry with his devotees, left India and started living in the Himalayas. His devotees approached him and asked the reason for his annoyance. The disclosure made by Lord Hanuman was really pathetic.
He said:' During Lord Rama's time I was remembered every day by everybody, and people used to do fasting every Tuesday and Saturday as a mark of respect towards me. Then some time later people got busy and reduced their frequency of going to my temple every day, and fasting was also limited to Tuesdays only, but I didn't mind. Then came the 20th century and my devotees confined me up to their own houses only and stopped fasting on Tuesdays also. I still kept quiet. But today's was the worst experience of my life. When I was roaming around in the Connaught Place Market, a young girl of sixteen came to me and said: "Hi, Hanu!" and went away. And, at that moment I realised that this country is no longer worth living in for ancient people like me and I left more...

A man dies and due to his evil and sinful life, goes to hell. The devil himself meets him at the gates of hell and tells him, "I don't know what all you've heard up there, but hell isn't all that bad a place. Let me ask you, do you like to smoke?"
The man answers, "Yes, I do"
"Oh, good then," the devil says, "You'll LOVE Mondays. Every Monday we all sit around and smoke cigarettes, cigars, pipes, try out new types of tobacco. Do you like to drink?"
The man answers, "Yeah, sure, I like to drink."
The devil says, "Good, you'll love Tuesdays, then. All we do on Tuesdays is sit around and drink beer, wine, and all kinds of different mixed drinks."
"You'll just love Tuesdays. Do you like to swear?"
"Sure," says the man, "I swear a lot."
"Great then. You'll love Wednesdays."
The devil says, "On Wednesdays, all we do is sit around and swear a lot, more...