Uconn Jokes

Q: How do you get an UConn cheerleader into your dorm room?
A: Grease her hips and push.

A little boy and his mother were walking in a cemetery when they came
upon a headstone that read “Here lies an UConn graduate and an honest man.”
The little boy asked, “Mommy, why did they bury 2 people in there?”

Q : How do you come to own a small business?
A : Start a large business and put an UConn grad in charge of it.

You Know You're From Connecticut When...
You have hiked up a big hill or small mountain at least once for a keg party.
You never went to a bar in high school.
You thought that the only highways were 91 and 84.
You thought everyone couldn't buy beer after 8 pm
You actually thought that Hartford was big
You or someone you know has attended UCONN
You drive a JETTA
You still think that the Whalers are cool.
You have been to Misquamicut and to that little hot dog place.
There is a farm within miles of your house
You thought bars were really for people over 21
Your high school thanksgiving football game was the highlight of your school year.
You don't have an accent when you talk.
You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.
You love Hilton Kaderli and your mom cried when he retired.
UConn basketball rules and no one can tell you different
You have deer in your backyard.
You didn't more...

Q: How do you get an UConn graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.