Umpire Jokes

Once There Was A Match Between India And England. The Umpire Of The Match Was From England And So Was An English. During The
Match Sachin Hit A Six In The Crowd. Bal Thakre Caught The Ball In The Crowd. He Refused To Return The Ball. But Agreed To
Return It Only If The English Umpire Said A Word In Hindi Or Marathi. As He Did Not Know Any Word. He Said" Bal Thakre."He
Returned The Ball As He Thought He Said Ball Takre Which Means Throw The Ball In Marathi.

During the match, the fieldsman positioned just behind the umpire kept trying to distract the batsman as the ball was bowled to him. Several appeals for L. B. W were turned down, and finally the umpire turned to the fieldsman and said sternly:

"I've been watching you for the last twenty minutes."

"I thought so," came the reply, "I could tell you weren't watching the game!"

The stonewaller had been at the crease for two hours and had scored one run. It finally got too much for the umpire. He raised his finger and said:

'Out'.

'What for?' said the batsman.

'Loitering with intent,' answered the umpire.

In the absence of their regular umpire, the village team was making do with a local farmer, who knew nothing of the rules. After the third ball of the over, the entire field turned round with a tremendous yell of' Owzat!'

The umpire paused.' Well, how would I know?' he said.' His leg was in the way! '

It was the day of the grand final when officals took a call from one of the members gatekeepers. "There are two life-members here. They are close friends of one of the umpires and they have lost their tickets."
"Throw them out," said the executive. "They are liars. Whoever heard of an umpire having two friends."