Uncle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update
#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader.
#9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers).
#8 Kahn turns out to be Captain Kirk's father (whoops, that's from the Top Ten new Star Trek movie changes).
#7 Chewbacca now giggles when you tickle his tummy.
#6 If you look closely, storm troopers now have Microsoft employee badges.
#5 Original Jawas: Killed by Storm Troopers for having R2 and C3P0. New Jawas: Killed for pitching yet another lame JAVA product "concept".
#4 Obi Wan's name changed to OS/2 Kenobi. Uncle Owen now constantly says "I think he died X years ago" where X changes between 10 years before to 10 years in the future. Storm troopers now don't kill Uncle Owen but instead appoint him head of the Imperial press.
#3 Amiga users upset because the new computers in the Death Star are PC's more...
Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader.#9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers).#8 Kahn turns out to be Captain Kirk's father (whoops, that's from the Top Ten new Star Trek movie changes).#7 Chewbacca now giggles when you tickle his tummy.#6 If you look closely, storm troopers now have Microsoft employee badges.#5 Original Jawas: Killed by Storm Troopers for having R2 and C3P0. New Jawas: Killed for pitching yet another lame JAVA product "concept".#4 Obi Wan's name changed to OS/2 Kenobi. Uncle Owen now constantly says "I think he died X years ago" where X changes between 10 years before to 10 years in the future. Storm troopers now don't kill Uncle Owen but instead appoint him head of the Imperial press.#3 Amiga users upset because the new computers in the Death Star are PC's when they could have been replaced with a more...
Q: What is the difference between a rooster, Uncle Sam, and an old maid?
A: The rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo"; Uncle Sam says, "Yankee-doodle-do"- and an old maid says, "Any dude'll do."
“Congratulations my boy! ” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life. ” “But I’m not getting married until tomorrow. ” Protested his nephew. I know, ” replied the uncle, “that’s exactly what I mean. ”
'Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,' little Jack said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays.' It's the best Christmas present I ever got.'
'That's great,' said his uncle.' Do you know how to play it?'
'Oh, I don't play it,' the little fellow said.' My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night.'
I didn't know my uncle had an upper plate until it came out in conversation.
"Hi honey, This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She `s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."After a brief pause,
Daddy says,"But honey, you haven `t got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he `s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy `s car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?"
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn `t moving at
all!" "Oh my God!!!
What about your Uncle more...