Under Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Horses are at the gate:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Dick
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry
And away they go:
Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk anties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs, Big Dick is in a very dangerous spot.
In the back stretch:
It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
Around the final turn:
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Dick is making a final drive. Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
At The Finish:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got more...
An Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on more...
Yesterday I got from my boss the Performance Evaluation results he was doing for a while.
Here is a copy of it.
PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
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Under the freedom of information act and the federal privacy act of 1974, I understand that my work
performance is being evaluated. I have the right to review and discuss differences in order to resolve
them and I have the right to request amendment to and/or modification of any document.
Name: Tunga Date of review: 26th January, 1998
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KNOWLEDGE: 1 [V] The son of a bitch really knows his shit
2 [ ] Knows just enough to be dangerous
3 [ ] Only has half a brain and is dangeruos
4 [ ] Fucking brain damage. His coffee cup has a higher I. more...
A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, “Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I’m so mad, I can’t even see straight. ” The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink and says, “Gimme another one. ” The bartender pours the drink, but says, “Now, before I give you this, why don’t you let off a little steam and tell me why you’re so upset? ”
So, the man begins his tale. “Well, I was sitting in the bar next door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought, “Wow, this has never happened before. ” You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, the blonde leans over and asks if I’d like to come back to her hotel to have dinner and talk for a while. I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I hadn’t had a good meal in quite a while. I managed to nod my head more...
Hotel Letters
The following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....
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Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
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Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you more...
A BIHARI was travelling by train for the first time. He was surprised to see the train running so fast. To gain a better understanding of how this was possible, he turned to his fellow
passenger who was a Sardarji.
Bihari:' Ee railgaadi kaise chalat hai?' (How does
this train run?)
Sardarji:' Iske neechey badey-badey chakke hain.'
(Under it there are large wheels.)
Bihari:' Uske neechey ka hai?' (What is under
that?)
Sardarji:' Uske neechey patri hai.' (The tracks
are under that.)
Bihari:' Uske neechey?' (Under that?)
Sardarji:' Kankar-pathar.' (Stones and pebbles.)
Bihari:' Uske neechey?' (Under that?)
Sardarji (getting annoyed):' Dharti hai.' (The
earth.)
Bihari:' Uske neechey?' (Under that?)
Sardarji (getting furious):' Uske neechey Pataal.'
(The underworld is under that.)
Bihari:' Uske neechey?' (Under more...
> PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
> constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
> bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
> let fly -- and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
> ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him
> like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's
> unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck
> his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to
> evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police
> detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that
> dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that
> time he suffocated. "It seems to be more...