Underwear Jokes / Recent Jokes

Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear(to be sung to "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland")Lacy things - the wife is missin, Didn't ask - her permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' round in women's underwear. In the store - there's a teddy, Little straps - like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin' round in women's underwear. In the office there's a guy named Marvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa, Man!""Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"Later on, if you wanna, We can dress - like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' round in women's underwear!

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.I will not throw up in the car. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not wake Mommy up with my cold, wet nose on her bottom. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time more...

This is for the guys...
Below are excerpts about how guys can score points (or lose
them) from their gals from "The Game of Romance: How to Keep
Score" from Men's Health Magazine, November, 1996, p 110-115,
along with some things that are just expected of guys,
therefore having a score of zero:
Simple Duties
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings: +5
But return with beer: -5
You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
You pummel it with a six iron: +10
It's her father: -10
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party: 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy: -2
Named Tiffany: -4
Tiffany is a dancer: -6
Tiffany has implants: -8

Saturday Afternoons
You visit her more...

Q. Why do women wear black underwear?
A. They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

A poor man told his wife, I am sick and tired of being poor, I am going to work overseas. So, he took off to Africa. A few years later, he returned. As he approached his house he got stunned with the luxurious and rich look of the house. He knocked on the door, the servant opened.
"Is the housewife in?" he asked.
The servant replied: "Just a moment." The wife comes out:
Wife: Wow, my man, all dressed up as a rich man after these years.
Husband: Guess what? I am rich.
Wife: How?
Husband: I went to Africa, found people walk with no underwear and sleep on sand, so I began to make and sell underwear and beds. Due to the high demand, I got rich fast.
Wife: A man, with all of your strength, had to go all the way to Africa, making beds and underwear, to get rich, and I am a little woman that stayed here, without underwear and on a single bed... I got REAL rich.

What does the tarzan think when he sees a dead lion, cheetah etc. Yeah i get a new pair of underwear

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby.
For whatever reason, she decided to do it.
When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her:
“Don’t you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear? ”
The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and naive, and decided to show those boys a thing or two.
The next day, they repeated their request, and when she came home she was beaming.
“What are you so happy about? ” asked her mother.
“I totally showed them. Today I didn’t even WEAR underwear! ”