Underwear Jokes / Recent Jokes

A girl goes on a blind date. The blind date hadn't been all that great, and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, her date suddenly said, "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any underwear. She glanced down and said, "Nice design - does it also come in men's sizes?"

E-mail Joke Quickly Ends Reporter's Job
By Howard Kurtz of the "Washington Post"
When Joe Rhodes, journalist and self-described "smart aleck," showed up at the Portland Oregonian last fall, he was asked to familiarize himself with the computer system.
The reporter, who had moved from Los Angeles to take a feature-writing job, sat down and composed a mock memo: "In an effort to make everyone at the New Oregonian feel more comfortable, members of the New Northwest team have chosen Thursdays as 'no underwear day' in the newsrooms.... All staff members will be subject to a brief inspection. Anyone found to be wearing undergarments will be severely reprimanded and forced to wear a sweater vest the following Monday. Exceptions will be made for those staff members with hernias, testicular cancer or radical mastectomies."
Rhodes then pressed a button to send the message to a friend. The message was inadvertently sent to everyone in the newsroom. more...

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.
1. Combatting Stupidity
2. You Too Can Do Housework
3. PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Just Give Us Credit Cards)
6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4: 00am
7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called “Don’t Wash My Silks”)
8. Parenting Roles Beyond Initial Conception
9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook
10. How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You Are Obviously Wrong
11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right
12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
13. You, The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons To Give Flowers
15. How To Stay Awake After Sex
16. Why It Is more...

Knock knock. Whos there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?

What occurs more often in December than any other month?
Conception.
Only 14% of Americans say they've done this with the opposite sex. What is it?
Skinny dipping.
What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS from every other TV show?
No theme song.
Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
Their birthplace. This is propinquity.
Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
Obsession
More women do this in the bathroom than men.
Wash their hands. Women - 80% Men - 55%
What do 100% of all lottery winners do?
Gain weight.
In a recent survey, Americans revealed that this was their favorite smell.
Banana
If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
One thousand
What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
All invented by women.
Married men more...

Q: Why dont birds wear underwear?
A: Because their peckers are on their faces

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: "Make the woman happy."
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played!
Life is so unfair...
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out, you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her Spring Fresh Extra Light Panty Liners with Wings (+5)
...you return with beer (-5)
You check out suspicious noise at night (0)
...and it is nothing (0)
....and it is something (+5)
... you hammer more...