Unemployment Jokes / Recent Jokes

"So you think you could end all unemployment, do you?" asked the interviewer. "And how, if I may be so bold to inquire?"
"Why, I'd put all the men on one island and all the women on another." replied Paddy.
"And what would they be doing then?" "Building boats!"

Unemployment helps stretch your coffee break.

Each location was planning on notifying employee's via email, unfortunately no one in the store could operate Windows Vista.

Sven and Ole worked together, and both were laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.

When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained: panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor.

"What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on, Sven pulls on it and says, "Yep, diesel fitter."

The way things are going the only people who will have jobs are those in the unemployment office.

What is long, black, and smelly?
The unemployment line!