Union Jokes / Recent Jokes

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.
When he got to the first one, he asked the madame, "Is this a union house?" "No, I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.
His search continued as long as you want to draw things out, until finally he reached a brothel where the madame said, "Why yes, this is a union house."
"And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. "I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the madame,... more...

Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Its not a bulb, its a globe.

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a demagogue. When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook. When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear annihilation. When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan had nothing to do with it. Because if that fool Reagan was right all along.... ..what kind of fool am I?

Gross pay: $
1222.02
Income Tax
244.40 Outgo Tax
45.21 State Tax
61.10 Interstate Tax
5.89 County Tax
6.11 City Tax
12.22 Rual Tax
4.44 Back Tax
1.11 Front Tax
1.16 Side tax
1.61 Up Tax
2.22 Down Tax
1.11 Knickknack Tax
1.98 Hackensack Tax
3.93 Thumbtax
0.98 Carpet Tax
0.69 Snack Tax
8.32 Surtax
3.46 Ma'am Tax
3.46 Parking Fee
5.00 No Parking Fee
10.00 F.I.C.A.
81.88 T.G.I.F
9.95 Life Ins.
5.85 Health Ins.
16.23 Disability Ins.
2.50 Ability Ins.
0.25 Liability Ins.
3.41 Dental Ins.
4.50 Mental Ins.
4.33 Fundamental Ins.
0.11 Coffee
6.85 Coffee Cups
66.51 Calendar Rental
3.06 Floor Rental
16.85 Chair Rental
4.32 Desk Rental
4.32 Union Dues
5.85 Union Don'ts
3.77 Cash Advances
0.69 Cash Retreats
121.35 Overtime
1.26 Undertime
54.83 Eastern Time
9.00 Central Time
8.00 Mountain Time
7.00 Pacific more...

If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been" Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!

Jingle Bells
My job smells
Rudolph wants a raise
Reindeer union was on strike
All of Christmas Day
Hey! Dancer took a bust
For a DUI
Prancer got possession
And now he's doing life
Missis Clause is mad
I stayed out all last night
And now she's getting a divorce
Because of this day's fight Jingle Bells
My job smells
Rudolph wants a raise
Reindeer union was on strike
All of Christmas Day
Hey! The cops here really stink
They don't know who I am
Got busted for doing sixty
In a fifty five
The Missis is a bitch
She won the divorce
And now I have to walk because
She got herself the sleighJingle Bells
My job smells
Rudolph wants a raise
Reindeer union was on strike
All of Christmas Day
Hey! All the elves they suck
Bunch a little pricks
Cannot make a descent toy
That won't take out my eye
I drank some sour milk
And poisoned cookies too
So I beat the living more...

A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100 what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80. 00 and the girls get $20. 00."

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this IS a Union House."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100 what cut do the girls get?"

The girls get $80. 00 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!!!". So he handed the Madam $100, looked around the room and more...