University Jokes / Recent Jokes

The blondes at the university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.
So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.
The blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.
They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos - after all, they now had their own department at the university.
They now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department which sports the saying: "I belong in B.E.D."

E-Mail Screw-ups.
Many Universities, colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and last initial to either the begining or end to make up an e-mail address, i.e. Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may cause when you have a large and diverse pool of people to choose from. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses (probably not funny to the individual involved).
Some examples follow:
Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University)
[email protected]
Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University)
[email protected]
George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.)
[email protected]
Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania)
[email protected]
Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University)
[email protected]
Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home more...

The new University of Georgia Campus Phone books arrived last month, with an AOL start up disk attached to each book. Now, thousands of AOL diskettes exist on the University campus, with most students at a loss as to what they can do with them. Here are a few suggestions given by a fellow UGA student. ..
--- Original message ---
Question: So what do you guys do with the AOL promo discs that seem to be everywhere? What can you do? I've got about 3 of them now, and don't really want to throw them away. Thanks!
Ans the answer: Use them as coaters at your christmas parties and social occasions.
Decorate the tree with them. Also useful for this are promotional CD-ROMs.
Tile your bathroom walls! They also make an attractive and functional kitchen countertop.
Give them to kids as frisbees.
Subscribe to AOL! Wait a sec, what am I thinking? Nevermind that one, we've got MUSIC.
For those of you celebrating Haunakkah (sp?), drive nail through center: more...

Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.

There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade and C grade.
A student who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than his assignment, went to the "bank" and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for a inconspicious C, retyped it and handed the work in.
In due course he received it back with the professor's comments "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have had an A, and now I am glad to give it one!"

An accountant, a lawyer, and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands... clear up to his elbows... he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan, and they taught us to be clean."

The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of Colorado, and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Nebraska, and they taught us not to pee on our hands."

10. Helen Thomas Eatons, of Duke University - [email protected]
9. Mary Ellen Dickinson, of Indiana University of Pennsylvania - [email protected]
8. Francis Kevin Kissinger, of Las Verdes University - [email protected]
7. Amanda Sue Pickering, of Purdue University - [email protected]
6. Ida Beatrice Ballinger, of Ball State University - [email protected]
5. Bradley Thomas Kissering, of Brady Electrical, Northern Division, Overton, Canada - [email protected]
4. Isabelle Haydon Adcock, of Toys "R" Us - [email protected]
3. Martha Elizibeth Cummins, of Fresno University - [email protected]
2. George David Blowmer, of Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc. - [email protected]
1. Barbara Joan Beeranger, of Myplace Home Decorating - [email protected]